A New Mother's Guide on How to Stop Breastfeeding Pain

Let’s get one thing straight. While a bit of initial tenderness can be part of the learning curve, ongoing, sharp pain during breastfeeding is your body’s way of saying something isn’t right.

You are not supposed to just grit your teeth and bear it. And you're definitely not alone.

Why Breastfeeding Hurts and How to Get Relief Now

Pain is one of the most common hurdles nursing mothers face. Studies show that somewhere between 64.4% and 68.5% of mothers deal with breastfeeding pain, and for many, it's so intense that it becomes a primary reason for stopping sooner than they’d planned.

It's easy to feel discouraged, but please know that finding a solution is often more straightforward than you might think. More often than not, the culprit is a shallow latch, meaning your baby isn’t taking enough of the breast into their mouth. This simple misalignment can quickly lead to sore, cracked, or even blistered nipples.

But a shallow latch isn't the only potential cause. Getting familiar with the other common issues is the first step toward feeling better.

• Engorgement: This is that overly full, hard, and tender feeling that often happens in the early days while your milk supply is still regulating. Your breasts can feel tight and warm, and you might even run a low-grade fever.
• Plugged Ducts: Have you felt a small, tender lump in your breast? It might feel like a little hard pea under the skin. That’s likely a plugged duct, which happens when milk isn't draining properly from one area.
• Mastitis: This is when a plugged duct escalates to an inflammation of the breast tissue, sometimes with an infection. Look for a red, swollen, and painful wedge-shaped area on the breast, often accompanied by flu-like symptoms like fever and chills.
• Thrush: This is a fungal infection that can affect both you and your baby. Telltale signs for you are shiny or flaky skin on the nipple and a deep, shooting, burning pain in the breast, often continuing even after the feeding is over.

The key takeaway is this: Pain is communication. Instead of pushing through it, treat it as a signal to investigate and make a change. That might mean a small tweak to your baby's position or reaching out for expert advice.

A Quick Guide to Identifying and Soothing Breastfeeding Pain

Sometimes, persistent and deep breast pain, especially after a round of antibiotics for you or your baby, can point to a stubborn fungal infection. In those cases, understanding Why Do I Keep Getting Thrush can be a real game-changer for finding lasting relief.

For a quick reference, the table below can help you connect what you're feeling to a likely cause and give you something to try right now for relief.

Learning to spot these issues is a huge step forward. For new parents, building a solid foundation of knowledge can make all the difference in feeling confident. Our guide on breastfeeding tips for new moms is packed with more foundational advice to help you start on the right foot.

Finding what works for you and your baby is a journey of learning and adjustment. You can absolutely get to a place where feeding is comfortable, connected, and rewarding.

Mastering the Latch for Pain-Free Nursing

When breastfeeding hurts, our minds often jump to complex medical issues. But more often than not, the answer is surprisingly simple. It all comes down to the latch. A shallow latch, where your baby only grabs the nipple instead of a big mouthful of breast tissue, is the #1 culprit behind nipple pain.

Think of it like trying to drink from a straw by just sipping the very tip. It’s awkward and doesn't work well. A deep latch, on the other hand, lets your baby use their tongue and jaw to draw out milk effectively, without hurting you. You should feel a strong tug or pulling sensation, not a sharp pinch or a bite. Getting this right is the absolute foundation of comfortable nursing.

The reality is, latch-related nipple pain (LRNP) is a huge reason why so many breastfeeding journeys hit a rough patch early on. Research has found that over 75% of nursing mothers deal with soreness or cracking, and the pain level is directly tied to how well the baby is latched. Improving that latch is one of the most powerful things you can do to stop the pain. You can read more on the science behind this in a 2020 study on latch-related nipple pain.

This infographic breaks down the process of tackling breastfeeding pain into three clear steps: identifying the cause, soothing the discomfort, and making adjustments.

As you can see, adjusting your baby's latch isn't just a suggestion; it's a central, active step you can take right now for both immediate and long-term relief.

What a Good Latch Looks and Feels Like

So, what are we actually aiming for? Instead of just winging it, there are specific cues you can look for that tell you the latch is deep, effective, and sustainable. A pain-free latch is about more than just your comfort. It’s about making sure your baby is getting milk efficiently, too.

Here are the key signs of a great latch:

• A Really Wide Mouth: Before latching, your baby’s mouth should be open as wide as a yawn.
• "Fish Lips": Both their top and bottom lips should be flanged out, not tucked inward.
• Asymmetrical Latch: You should see more of your areola (the darker skin) above your baby’s top lip than below their bottom lip. This means their chin is pressed into your breast and their nose is clear to breathe.
• No Clicking Sounds: Clicking or smacking noises often signal that your baby is losing suction, usually because the latch is too shallow.
• It Feels Right to You: This is the most important sign. You should feel a strong pull or tug, but never a pinch. If it hurts, something needs to be adjusted.

A fantastic piece of advice I always share is: "Bring baby to breast, not breast to baby." This simple phrase reminds you to sit back and bring your baby up to you, which helps you avoid hunching over. Hunching not only kills your back but also tends to create a poor angle for latching.

Troubleshooting Common Latch Problems

Knowing what a good latch looks like is one thing. Actually getting it with a sleepy, fussy, or impatient newborn is another challenge entirely. Don't worry, most parents run into the same few hurdles, and there are gentle ways to correct them in the moment.

For instance, if your baby just won't open their mouth wide enough, be patient. Wait for a big yawn or gently tickle their lips with your nipple to encourage them to open up. Whatever you do, don't try to force the latch when their mouth is only partially open.

Hearing clicking sounds? Your baby has likely lost suction. Gently break the seal by inserting your clean pinky finger into the corner of their mouth, take them off, and start over. It's worth noting that persistent clicking can sometimes be related to a physical issue. You can learn more about how a tongue-tie can affect latch and feeding in our detailed guide.

Scenario A: Baby Clamps Down at the Start

Some babies have a tendency to clamp down hard right as they latch, causing a sharp, toe-curling pain.

• What to do: Make sure their head is tilted back slightly, with their chin leading the way to the breast. This position naturally encourages a wider gape and helps their tongue cover their lower gum line, which can prevent that initial bite-down reflex.

Scenario B: Baby Slips Down to the Nipple

You start with a beautiful, deep latch, but a few minutes in, they slide down and are just sucking on the nipple itself. Ouch.

• What to do: Support your breast throughout the feeding. Use a C-hold (thumb on top, fingers underneath, well back from the areola) to gently compress the breast. This helps maintain its shape, making it easier for your baby to hold on to that deep latch without slipping.

Perfecting the latch is a skill you and your baby learn together. It takes patience, a bit of practice, and a lot of grace. But it is, without a doubt, the most powerful tool you have for stopping breastfeeding pain and building the comfortable, connected nursing relationship you deserve. Every single feed is a new opportunity to get it right.

Finding Comfortable Positions to Prevent Aches and Strain

When we talk about breastfeeding pain, our minds usually jump straight to the baby’s latch and sore nipples. And while that’s a huge piece of the puzzle, the aches that settle deep into your own back, neck, and shoulders are just as real. Slouching over your baby for hours every day really adds up, leading to a whole different kind of pain that can make you dread the next feeding.

But here's the good news: a few small, strategic tweaks to your setup can make a world of difference. The golden rule I always share with parents is simple. Bring the baby up to your breast, not your breast down to the baby. That one shift in thinking can save you from the chronic hunching that leads to so much strain.

This isn’t just about minor discomfort. Musculoskeletal pain is deeply connected to your breastfeeding position. One study found that a staggering 72.3% of nursing mothers dealt with lower back pain, while 67.6% had neck pain. Interestingly, the traditional cradle hold was the most common position used, yet it was also linked to pain, which just goes to show how critical good ergonomics are.

Building Your Nursing Nest

Before you even think about latching your baby, take a minute to get yourself comfortable. Don't wait until you're already feeling the strain to reach for a pillow. I like to call this building your "nursing nest."

Your goal is to create a setup where you can sit upright with a straight back and relaxed shoulders, with your baby positioned at the perfect height. No hunching required.

• Pillows Are Your Best Friend: Seriously, use as many as you need. Prop one behind your back for lumbar support, pile one or two on your lap to raise your baby to breast height, and maybe tuck another under your arm to support your elbow.
• Don't Forget Your Feet: A footstool or even a stack of books under your feet can be a game-changer. Raising your knees slightly higher than your hips takes a ton of pressure off your lower back.
• Keep Everything Within Reach: Before you settle in, make sure your water bottle, phone, the TV remote, and a snack are all within easy reach. This simple step keeps you from twisting and straining mid-feed.

Remember, your comfort is just as important as your baby’s. A relaxed body helps with milk flow and makes the entire experience more enjoyable for both of you. Don't feel guilty about taking a minute to get your setup right.

Exploring Different Nursing Holds

The classic cradle hold isn't your only option, and frankly, it doesn’t work for everyone. Experimenting with different positions can help you find what feels best, distribute pressure differently, and prevent the repetitive strain that comes from doing the same thing over and over.

The Football Hold (or Clutch Hold)

This hold is fantastic for mothers who've had a C-section, since it keeps the baby completely away from the incision. It also gives you a great view of your baby’s latch, which makes it much easier to troubleshoot.

• How to Do It: Tuck your baby under your arm on the same side you're nursing from, almost like you're carrying a football. Their body should rest on a pillow beside you, and you support their head with your hand.

The Laid-Back Position (Biological Nurturing)

This might just be the most relaxing position of them all. It uses gravity to your advantage, helping your baby get a deep, secure latch while you get to recline comfortably.

• How to Do It: Lean back in a semi-reclined position on a bed or couch, making sure you're well-supported by pillows. Place your baby tummy-to-tummy on your chest, and let their innate reflexes guide them to your breast.

To help with the general aches that can make breastfeeding pain feel even worse, focusing on your overall physical recovery is key. This includes adding gentle postpartum core strengthening exercises to rebuild that foundational support. A stronger core leads directly to better posture, which can significantly cut down on the back and neck pain from long feeding sessions. Finding a sustainable, pain-free position isn't a luxury. It's a necessity for a positive breastfeeding journey.

Navigating Engorgement, Plugged Ducts, and Mastitis

Beyond the initial learning curve of latch and positioning, some specific conditions can pop up and cause significant pain. Things like engorgement, plugged ducts, and mastitis can feel frustratingly similar at first, but they each need a slightly different game plan to get you feeling better.

Knowing how to tell them apart and what to do next is crucial for stopping the pain and keeping your milk supply on track.

It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed when you're in pain and trying to sort this all out. The most important thing is to address these issues quickly. Prompt care not only brings relief but also prevents a simple problem from escalating into something more serious.

Soothing Painful Engorgement

Engorgement is that intensely full, hard, and tender feeling your breasts can get, especially in the first few days after birth as your milk really starts to come in. Your breasts might feel warm and swollen, and the skin can get so tight that it’s tough for your baby to latch. This is usually just a temporary phase while your body figures out exactly how much milk your baby needs.

The goal here is to relieve the pressure without sending your body the signal to produce even more milk.

• Nurse, nurse, nurse: The absolute best way to move milk is to let your baby nurse frequently, at least every 2-3 hours.
• Cool things down: After a feeding, apply cold packs or gel packs to your breasts for about 15 minutes. This is a game-changer for reducing swelling and soothing that deep ache.
• Try reverse pressure softening: If your baby is struggling to latch onto a firm breast, use your fingers to gently press on the areola right around your nipple for about a minute. This simple trick moves some of the fluid away, softening the area just enough for your baby to get a much deeper, more comfortable latch.

A common piece of advice is to pump until empty, but this can backfire. Pumping to completion can signal your body to ramp up production, making the engorgement cycle even worse. If your baby isn't available to nurse, only pump or hand express just enough to take the edge off the intense pressure.

Dealing with a Plugged Duct

A plugged duct feels like a small, hard, and tender lump hiding in your breast. It’s what happens when milk flow gets blocked in a specific duct, causing a little traffic jam. You'll likely notice the lump is more painful right before a feeding and feels a bit smaller and less tender afterward.

The strategy is all about clearing that blockage effectively and gently.

• Gentle warmth helps: Before you start nursing, place a warm, moist compress on the affected area for a few minutes to help encourage milk flow.
• Start on the affected side: Your baby’s suck is strongest right at the beginning of a feed, so starting on the side with the plug can help dislodge it.
• Use gentle massage: While your baby is nursing, use your fingertips to gently massage the area behind the lump, stroking toward the nipple. The pressure should be light. You’re just encouraging flow, not trying to force the clog out.

Avoid the temptation to use deep, aggressive massage. This can actually cause more inflammation and make the problem worse. The key is frequent and effective milk removal combined with gentle encouragement.

Recognizing and Responding to Mastitis

Mastitis is an inflammation of the breast tissue that can sometimes involve an infection. It often snowballs from an unresolved plugged duct or severe engorgement. The symptoms are way more intense and systemic than a simple plug.

You’ll probably see a red, swollen, often wedge-shaped area on your breast that feels hot and is painful to the touch. But the biggest giveaway is that mastitis usually comes with flu-like symptoms: a fever of 101°F (38.3°C) or higher, chills, and body aches. You might feel like you've been hit by a truck.

If you even suspect you have mastitis, you need to act immediately.

1. Call your doctor right away. Mastitis often requires a course of antibiotics to clear the infection and prevent complications like an abscess. Don't wait around to see if it gets better on its own.
2. Keep nursing. It might be the very last thing you feel like doing, but it is absolutely essential to continue nursing frequently on the affected side. It’s the single most effective way to drain the breast and clear the inflammation. Your milk is perfectly safe for your baby.
3. Rest and hydrate. Your body is fighting an infection. Prioritize rest as much as you possibly can and drink plenty of fluids to stay hydrated.

Being sick yourself can bring up a lot of questions and worries about nursing. For some reassuring guidance, check out our article on whether it’s okay to breastfeed while sick. It can help you feel more confident as you take care of both yourself and your baby.

When and How to Get Professional Breastfeeding Support

Trying to figure out breastfeeding pain all by yourself can feel incredibly isolating. While a lot of minor issues get better with small adjustments, sometimes you just need an expert eye. That's not only okay, it's completely normal. Knowing when to call for backup is a sign of strength, not a sign you're failing.

Think about it like this. You'd see a doctor for a fever that won't break, right? Persistent breastfeeding pain is no different. It’s all about getting the right support when you need it to keep both you and your baby healthy and thriving.

Clear Signs It’s Time to Call a Professional

It’s so easy to tell yourself, "I'll just give it one more day." But some red flags are your body's way of saying you need professional support, and sooner is always better than later. Waiting too long can turn a solvable hiccup into a much bigger hurdle. Don't wait until you hit your breaking point.

It’s time to reach out for professional help if you're dealing with any of these:

• Pain that sticks around for more than a week. A little tenderness at the very beginning can be normal, but sharp, severe, or constant pain is not.
• Cracked or bleeding nipples that just won't heal. This is a huge sign that the root cause, usually a tricky latch, hasn't been fixed.
• Any signs of infection. This could be a fever, chills, and body aches, or you might notice a red, hot, swollen spot on your breast. These are classic symptoms of mastitis.
• Worries about your baby’s weight gain. If you're not seeing enough wet or dirty diapers, or if your baby isn't hitting their weight milestones, it's critical to have a professional assess their feeding.
• Your baby is constantly fussy or never seems satisfied after eating. This could mean they aren't transferring milk effectively, which is frustrating for them and painful for you.

Reaching out for help isn't admitting defeat. It's taking a proactive step to protect your well-being and your breastfeeding relationship. Many common issues are quickly resolved with an expert's guidance.

Understanding Your Support Options

Once you decide to get help, you’ll find there are a few different types of professionals out there. Knowing who does what will help you find the best person for your situation.

An International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) is the gold standard in lactation care. These professionals have gone through thousands of hours of clinical training and passed a tough exam. They’re equipped to handle everything from severe latch problems and low milk supply to complex medical conditions. For persistent or complicated issues, an IBCLC is who you want in your corner.

You might also come across a Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC) or a peer counselor from a group like La Leche League. They are wonderfully trained to provide support and education for more common breastfeeding concerns and are a fantastic resource for basic troubleshooting and encouragement. Your pediatrician or OB-GYN is also a key partner, especially when it comes to diagnosing and treating medical issues like mastitis. You can learn more about what a lactation consultant does to see how they create a care plan just for you.

How to Find Qualified Help

Finding the right support shouldn't add more stress to your plate. A great first step is to ask your pediatrician or OB-GYN for a referral; they usually have a list of local IBCLCs they trust. Many hospitals also have their own lactation departments that offer consultations, both while you're in the hospital and after you go home.

Online resources have also made it easier than ever to connect with qualified help right from your couch.

• Professional Directories: Organizations like the United States Lactation Consultant Association (USLCA) have searchable online directories to help you find an IBCLC in your area.
• Marketplaces: Platforms like Bornbir are designed to connect you directly with vetted lactation consultants, doulas, and other postpartum pros. You can browse profiles, read reviews from other parents, and book virtual or in-person appointments.
• Community Groups: Your local parenting groups on Facebook can be a goldmine for personal recommendations. Just make sure to double-check the credentials of anyone you're considering.

Building a solid support system is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Getting expert help for breastfeeding pain isn't just about fixing a problem. It's an investment in a comfortable, sustainable, and joyful journey for both you and your baby.

Common Questions About Breastfeeding Pain

Even with all the right information, specific worries can pop up when you're right in the middle of a painful feeding. Getting clear, straightforward answers can make a world of difference. Here are some of the questions I hear most often from parents trying to figure out how to stop breastfeeding pain.

How Long Should Breastfeeding Hurt at First?

It’s completely normal to feel some tenderness when you first start breastfeeding. I often tell parents to think of it like breaking in a new pair of shoes. There's a short adjustment period. This initial sensitivity should be mild and usually only lasts for the first 30-60 seconds of a feeding before it fades away.

That "breaking in" phase shouldn't last long, typically resolving within the first week or two. If what you're feeling is a sharp, shooting pain, or a pain that sticks around for the entire feed, that's your body's way of telling you something needs to change. And it's almost always the latch.

Do Nipple Shields Help with Pain?

Nipple shields can look like a perfect, easy fix for sore nipples, but they're a tool that really needs to be used with professional guidance. A shield can give you a temporary barrier, protecting your nipples and sometimes helping a baby with a shallow latch stay on the breast. But, and this is a big but, they don't fix what’s causing the pain in the first place.

Using a nipple shield without addressing the underlying latch or positioning issue is like putting a bandage on a wound that needs stitches. It might help for a moment, but it won't lead to long-term healing.

If they aren't used correctly, nipple shields can sometimes mess with milk transfer, which can lead to a dip in your milk supply. If you're thinking about trying one, it's best to work with a lactation consultant. They can make sure it’s the right call for your situation, check the fit, and create a plan to eventually wean off it. You can explore options for support in our guide on how to find a lactation consultant.

Does Breastfeeding Pain Mean My Milk Supply Is Low?

Pain itself isn't a direct sign of a low milk supply. In fact, many of the issues that cause pain, like severe engorgement or mastitis, often happen when there's plenty of milk that isn't being removed effectively. That said, the root cause of your pain can definitely affect your supply down the road.

A classic example is a poor latch. If your baby's latch is shallow and causing you nipple pain, it also means they aren't transferring milk very efficiently. Over time, this can signal your body to slow down production. So while pain and supply aren't the same thing, they are often connected.

• Pain from a shallow latch: Can lead to poor milk removal, which may decrease supply over time.
• Pain from engorgement: Actually indicates a full supply that needs to be managed to avoid problems.
• Pain from mastitis: Doesn't mean low supply, but it's crucial to keep nursing to clear the blockage and protect your production.

Instead of jumping to the conclusion that pain equals low supply, pay attention to your baby. A baby who is gaining weight steadily and producing lots of wet and dirty diapers is a far more reliable sign of a healthy milk supply than how you feel. Fixing the source of your pain will not only bring you relief but will also be the best thing you can do to protect your milk supply for the long haul.

Finding the right professional support shouldn't be another source of stress. At Bornbir, we connect parents with vetted, top-rated lactation consultants, doulas, and postpartum specialists for virtual or in-person care. Compare providers, read reviews, and find the perfect match for your family in minutes at https://www.bornbir.com.